A Southerner’s Guide to Snow

Having just survived my third snowfall* in Raleigh, I feel I’m now qualified to share some tips with my fellow southerners* who may be new to the experience.

1) Those sheets of cardboard you may have used to “sled” down grassy hills (or levees) do not make great sleds when there is actual snow on the ground, but a silver platter does. I suspect a crawfish tray might also work, but I have yet to try it.

2) You know all those cute and charming accessories like scarves, gloves, boots and earmuffs? They actually serve practical purposes. The most important accessory, however, is the one you’re already using: sunglasses. When the sun shines down on a fresh snowfall, do not look at the ground without protection unless you want to burn your corneas.

3) You don’t have to rush out and build a snowman right away. You can wait until the snow actually stops falling, because … get this … it sticks to the ground. It will even be there the next day, maybe even the day after that. In fact, second day snow is the best consitency for snowman building.

4) Speaking of snowmen, beach toys make great snowman building tools. Keep plastic rakes, hoes, buckets and shovels close by. If it can be used in the sand, it can be used in the snow.20170110_223416

5) Snow is crunchy. Ice is slippery. Invest in shoes with good traction, like hiking boots, or soccer cleats. To my Louisiana friends, this is not the time for your St. Bernard Reebocks. Save the shrimp boots for after the snow melts, as they might come in handy when your backyard goes from winter wonderland to wetland. Also, when people tell you to stay off the roads, for the love of God, please stay of the roads! Your car does not know how to ice skate.

 *In this context, the term snowfall means the kind of snow that falls in North Carolina, not necessarily the kind that falls in Ohio.
*In this context the term southerner means anyone who is from a state that has no other state below it, primarily the Gulf Coast states.

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