The reason for this post is that I don’t want to focus on any more ugliness of my pregnancy, but also because I want everyone else to stop telling me about their uglies. I don’t want to hear any more birthing stories. Please keep your episiotomy to yourself. The same goes for breastfeeding and anything else that involves substances coming out of orifices.
Now, here are some things no one told me about pregnancy, but I kind of wish they had: As a pregnant lady, I can wear whatever I want to work, and nobody’s going to tell me anything different! I actually wore leggings and a tunic that I slept in the night before, and people told me I looked cute. Another day I wore a tank top, flip flops and cropped maternity pants with a coffee stain, and no one seemed to notice. This brings up another thing no one told me, perhaps pregnancy’s best kept secret: Maternity pants are awesome! They look like regular pants but have an elastic waistband that covers the entire belly. If I can get away with it, I’m totally going to wear maternity pants when I’m not pregnant. At the very least, I’ll wear them on Thanksgiving. They’re just as roomy as sweatpants, but a lot cuter (coffee stain and all).
Something else no one told me about? When babies kick, it isn’t always in the belly. In my case, it’s almost never in the belly. I laugh when people put their hand on top of my stomach and ask if the baby is kicking. “Yes, but you probably can’t feel it,” I say. To feel my baby kick, you’ll have to put your hand much lower, where I don’t really want you to put your hand. Google assures me this is normal, but I’m still going to ask my doctor at my next appointment.
That brings up another thing I wished people had warned me about. There is a never ending onslaught of doctor’s appointments. Maybe it just seems that way to me because prior to pregnancy it had been almost seven years since I’d seen a doctor. Now I actually have a compelling need to take care of myself because it’s not just me I’m taking care of. (That’s heavy doc.)
To end on a positive note, there’s one more unexpected phenomena of pregnancy: the overwhelming kindness and generosity I see from friends as well as people I barely know. People have given me baby clothes, furniture, necessities and accessories in preparation for the baby. I haven’t even had a baby shower yet. And I almost tear up when I go to a social gathering and grown men give up their seats for me, or bring me a drink, or offer to get me a plate of food. Somebody taught these guys well. I only hope I can raise my son to be so kind.